They Say We Are
by iguessso12
Summary: What's the first thing people should do when something potentially scarring occurs in their lives? Find a support group. But for our favorite ex-death game players already had each other. And years after the incident, they reminisce about emotional baggage and shrinks that haven't been quite as necessary as everyone thought. One-shot analysis fic.


"They say we're all messed up."

"Huh?" Recon stuttered unconsciously.

He hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation, too busy trying out some new spells he'd attained since clearing the 900's level in dark magic. Their affects had been interesting on the low level mobs they were harvesting, to say the least. However, it was unfortunate that the enemies were not an even match for the power of his attacks, as the monsters died before he could observe the long term effects.

So he hadn't been listening, but one doesn't need to keep their ears peeled to pick up on such a strange and heavy comment.

Klien sighed, "Well, it's not like they say that directly to our faces, but you can see it in their eyes. Pity. They know that we'll never be the same. Never be like _normal_ people, more like it."

_Oh, so they were talking about the SAO survivors._

"It's kinda weird though," Lizabeth said, momentarily interrupted as she crushed an enemy under her mace, "I sometimes forget what they're being so dramatic about."

"W-what do you mean, Liz?" Leafa asked. Recon was relieved that she had voiced his concern as it would sound much more rude and probing coming from him. In the past years, Suguha had become really good friends with the younger SAO survivors IRL. And though Shinichi had met them on numerous occasions, he wasn't anywhere near her level.

"I get it." Silica added a finishing pirouette after landing her attack, "Whenever I would go to see my cousins outside of Tokyo, that's all they would talk about. 'How many times did you almost die, Keiko?' 'Were you scared?' Stuff like that."

Leafa gave a little gasp at Silica's family's insensitivity, but the girl continued demurely.

"I guess it's okay. They're younger than me, so at the time they didn't really understand boundaries. But even now the therapists are like that; even more so at the beginning. They think it's their job to ask penetrating questions about deep psychological issues." She shrugged, "Not every moment we had for two years was _deep_ or _psychological_. Sure, that stuff happened – more than you'd get in an average lifespan probably – but we made really important memories there too."

Startled by her frankness, Recon had to remind himself that with was a level-headed, sixteen year old girl that had come to terms with her truly unique life experience

"Heh," the gruff agreement came from their resident, red-headed samurai, "I finished my sessions with the SAO countermeasures shrink only to be turned over to my employer's. Company policy since I'm a 'high-risk' employee. She seems _very_ focused on what I am doing to make up for my 'lost time.' She's also not very happy that I told her I was working on clearing floors of New Aincrad."

Now that was less surprising. Klein had a tendency to get under people's skin – whether in a good way or a bad way, well that was up for debate.

"Anyway, there are various views of SAO survivors and only a few get it right." Liz summarized as she retreated to wait for a heal, "But SAO just became everyday life to us. It was more useful to know the current stock prices of quality metal than accelerated algebra. It was better to grind a skill than become more popular. It was more valuable to find armor with good stats than to wear a cute outfit. We lived and breathed the game because we _had to_. But I think we all realize that's not how the real world works, it just took a little time to adjust. Now we're fine."

"I guess." Leafa murmured, but she didn't sound reassured. Recon could tell that something was still bothering her.

Feeling bold, Recon asked, "What about you Asuna-san? You've been awfully quiet."

Casually he launched another magic attack, but had to wait for an MP boost from the Undine healer. He didn't look her in the eye, waiting for her to answer in her own time. But the others in the party had grown silent as well, waiting for their acting leader to respond.

After a minute, the group managed to clean up the last of the trash mobs, but Asuna still hadn't said anything. Recon was starting to sweat a little, fearing he had crossed a line and was about to be impaled by a silver rapier.

"I guess…" she let out a long sigh, aquamarine eyes inspecting the ground, "It's a little different for me."

"What do you mean, Asuna-chan?" Liz asked, a rare moment of total seriousness.

"It's something I've thought about a lot actually." She twiddled her thumbs, "Cause of all drama with my mom. I know that everyone's different. But I had really hard time readjusting. It was really nice that Kirito-kun was there to help me out and that he had already been through the process." She blushed at the mention of their missing member, but continued, "I had never touched a hardcore game before in my life. I was a dedicated student hell bent on becoming the girl my parents wanted me to be. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I barely had any friends either."

"So…" Silica prompted with a curious tilt of her head to the side.

Asuna sighed, "So when I finally started playing SAO for real, it was with that same mentality: work hard for the end result. In that case, it was just getting out of that 'damned game' so I could get back to my original goal. I wasn't living; just waiting to live. But on the front lines, everyone had the clearing mentality. I didn't get the shock of seeing someone really living – either in or out of the game – until I found Kirito-kun sleeping under a tree when he should have been mapping the current dungeon."

"Lazy ass." Liz joked with a sidelong smirk at the boy in question's sister. Leafa's head drooped in shame for her ostentatiously laid-back brother.

But Asuna wasn't done, "It wasn't until after I got to know him better that I started to realize that every second was a moment of your life you would never get back; if you didn't treasure it, you'd have nothing. I wanted to live my life to the fullest together with Kirito-kun, the friends I had made, and eventually with my family. I still wanted to clear the game, but my reasons had changed completely. I would say that the person I became in SAO was the most dramatic role reversal of us all." She peeked at her audience, an apology in her eyes, "And I returned to a much less compromising reception."

"It's fine, Asuna-san." Klein put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "We understand what you mean. And thanks for sharing."

The group all nodded in agreement.

"But man," the Salamander rested a hand on his head and let out a weary sigh, "I'm really glad Kirito was able to do that for you. I was really worried about him during that time, since he had no one else."

The inquisitive stares prompted him to continue.

"He usually keep these things under wraps, so _don't _go telling him I told you this!" another sigh, "I'm not sure what made him do it, but a few months after the launch, Kirito – a notorious solo player – joined a guild. He never told me much about them, but given the fact that he was pretty much the highest player the entire game and they were a midlevel guild, they were way below his level. Somehow…"

"A trap room. Null-crystal area." Asuna supplied, her tone lacking any emotion.

"…Well, needless to say, everyone in the guild died, save Kirito. But seeing him after that, he might as well have been a walking dead. I ran into him later to find him taking crazy risks to grind higher. By the sudden jump in his level, he'd been sacrificing sleep to do it. Which is friggin' messed up when you're fighting with your life on the line, _alone!_ And to top it off, his suicidal plan was to target a boss, _also ALONE!_ When I offered to help, he almost cut me in half. So when the item he was targeting turned out to be a disappointment, I thought…" Klein's scratchy voice grew thin, "I thought I was never gonna see him again."

After another minute of stewing silence, Leafa interjected, "I appreciate being able to hear the stories of things that happened in SAO because I like being better able to just… understand. Yet I have an outsider's perspective as well. I feel the pain of the family members who have happily received 'family' back into their homes only to find that 'strangers' have taken their place. My brother was the same way."

Feeling where his girlfriend was going with this, Recon took over where Leafa left off, "Humans are egotistical creatures; it's very hard for us to stop and comprehend that someone else's life is filled with their own experiences, impressions, thoughts, and actions. From the outside, we saw people in a coma for two years who woke up with major personality changes. That's alarming. So while the Therapists have a hayday with the newest social 'problem' the rest of you watch their scrambling with skepticism."

"That's a very psychological perspective as well, Recon." Liz's rebuttal held a hint of a smirk.

Recon shrugged, "I think it explains things."

"I'm definitely grateful for the SAO countermeasures though!" Silica said with a bright smile, "the physical therapy, the counseling, the schooling, all of it. We had a lot of help getting back on our feet and into the real world."

"Hmph! I think they just felt bad for the two years they couldn't lift a finger." Liz sniffed, "And during those two years we handled things on our own."

Klein slung his arms around Silica and Liz's shoulders, chiming in, "No major depression or PTSD for us!"

Asuna merely crossed her arms, shook her head, and smiled at the cackling threesome. But Klein wouldn't let her sit out on their celebration so easily, "And some of us even found true looooooove!" he called tauntingly.

The mage's face went cherry red, lighting like a match in the growing twilight of their hunting grounds. But her voice had caught in her throat and she couldn't say anything in response. This only made the three amigos laugh harder.

When the din was starting to die Leafa choked out, tears of joy glistening in her emerald eyes, "I'm glad you're all here now."

All together Silica smiled, Liz made a 'victory' sign, Klein gave a thumbs-up, and Asuna nodded.

Recon followed up again. Trying to lighten the mood, he joked, "This was a good group session!"

And another round of laughter scattered the birds from the treetops of the surrounding forest.

**El Fin**

* * *

**Just some notes on this one shot:**

**This didn't turn out to be as exhaustive of an analysis as I would have liked, but I just went with the flow of the dialogue and it left me with what I have, so I guess I'll have to suck it up. You can read the next few paragraphs if you want to know what I left out ;). Especially when stories are written in first person (which is the case with SAO books) I really like experiencing the objective opinions of third person. And Recon/Shinichi Nagata has become my tool yet again to do so.**

**I estimate that this takes place around May of 2026. According to the timeline on the Wikia site, it says that the official public release of all the SAO information was made in that month so talking about it would make sense. I also saw this as a perfect window as it would give the characters enough time to grow, mature, and come to terms with the events of SAO. So if they seemed a little OOC sharing their stories like that, well, that's my reasoning.**

**As far as the level of psychological damage, I see Kirito and Asuna ranked for first in the severity category when it comes to our cast: both suffered from insomnia, nightmares, depression, and suicidal ideation at the least. If you read the 'Red Nosed Reindeer' short story in the second light novel, it is much more detailed and emotional than the one episode in the anime can do justice. The comment where Klein says "**he almost cut me in half**" occurs when Kirito, suffering from severe headaches as the result of sleep deprivation, debates killing Klein's guild for obstructing his path. It's my personal headcanon that Asuna maxed her cooking skill as something to do on nights she couldn't sleep.**

**Klein would be next since he was also a frontliner. However, he had the support of his friends/guild the entire time AND not one of them died. A notable accomplishment in my opinion.**

**Silica and Liz would probably be in the same area as well. Both were midliners. Silica to maintain a steady level and Liz to collect supplies for smithing. Both near death situations they were shown in were with Kirito. And while I don't deny the possibility of them having other close scrapes, I think I could be safe saying it wasn't that many. Players in SAO were extremely cautious – for obvious reasons – and kept a margin of safety of at least 10 levels higher than the floor they were on.**

**I also really like Suguha's character. She was a teenage girl that dealt with a lot of change and uncertainty after the SAO incident, but she came to terms with it beautifully. Her relationship with her brother is very loving and watchful, which is perfect because he can be such an unsuspecting trouble maker. In this one shot I am sad to say that Kirito is absent, probably on business researching some VR tech or something else just as nerdy.**

**Anyway… Thanks for reading! Please review to let me know your thoughts )**


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